A General Request on Women's Safety

Me_and_My_Dog

I'd like to make a general request on this forum that when a woman makes a statement about her personal safety while on the road, please do not challenge or negate or denigrate or minimize that strategy. If you don't agree with a woman's efforts for keeping herself feeling safe, it's best to keep that to yourself. Nothing will be lost. No one has any idea what each person has gone through in their lives, and the massive amount of courage it takes for some of us to get out there and claim the road. Whatever a woman or a man needs to do to feel safe is what they need to do. Yes, there are women's travel forums created just to avoid this kind of thing. But I'd like to think it's safe to post here about my personal safety without someone stating or insinuating that my actions are frivolous, wrong-headed, weak-minded, or whatever. So to reiterate: When a woman posts how she keeps herself feeling safe on the road, respect that.

Nomad

Do think a discussion of safety and comfort levels, and real world observations for both male and female travelers would be good. I know that I was totally surprised at how safe it's felt out here (as a male). Have only felt uncomfortable (not threatened) once and that was in a remote boondocking area, never ever in a popular designated camping area or campground.

Me_and_My_Dog

I am totally intrigued by the potential to boondock. Not there yet! We had a similar situation on our Nextdoor community forum where a woman complained about solicitors knocking on her door and not wanting to answer. Several men jumped on her for ruining the friendly New Orleans vibe. They said they would answer the door. My position was that men and women in general have different experiences in life and in early life. The vast majority of violence against women comes from men. That is fact. So what we need to do to feel safe out on the road is valid, no matter what.

Nomad

Since this thread starts out more as an editorial than what I guess I'd call and tips/tricks/advice or observation thread, Am thinking maybe a new thread along these lines...
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Safety /Camping
How safe do you feel while camping? What do you do to make you feel safe?
While understanding that men and women have different perceptions and life experiences on safety, and safety issues may be somewhat influenced by how and where you camp, maybe posts that are specific incidences could identify those aspects up front by labeling ones post. For instance...Female - Boondocking - Congress, AZ - Might also be helpful whether you consider it a standard occurance or an anomaly. For general safety observations or techniques maybe just start with "General"
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What's everyone think? Suggestions?

Me_and_My_Dog

PXLated said:

Since this thread starts out more as an editorial than what I guess I'd call and tips/tricks/advice or observation thread, Am thinking maybe a new thread along these lines...
----------
Safety /Camping
How safe do you feel while camping? What do you do to make you feel safe?
While understanding that men and women have different perceptions and life experiences on safety, and safety issues may be somewhat influenced by how and where you camp, maybe posts that are specific incidences could identify those aspects up front by labeling ones post. For instance...Female - Boondocking - Congress, AZ - Might also be helpful whether you consider it a standard occurance or an anomaly. For general safety observations or techniques maybe just start with "General"
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What's everyone think? Suggestions?

Personally, I love it! How very thoughtful! I'm sure one's sense of safety and growing "street smarts" changes over time. It would be very helpful to get responses from newbies and experienced t@bbers alike.

Nomad

Maybe add ones "experience level" to the mix.

Verna

There's a "Solo Traveler's Hints and Tips" category. 

Ratkity

I was on another camping forum (non-T@B or tiny trailer) and the thread of how many people "carry" loaded weapons for "protection" (despite the laws) scared the snot out of me. I used to have bear spray (for real bears), but then found out it was illegal to knowingly spray on a person (but Officer!! He looked awfully hairy without his shirt and only in shorts!). I'm an advocate of following the law.

I like the Solo Hints and Tips that V pointed out. There are also other sources on the net. Be careful which resources you chose! If you're not careful, you'll think everyone one out there is a serial killer.

The idea of camping is to be relaxed in the area you chose to park - you're there to enjoy yourself, not worry! There are "Sisters on the Fly" that is a great camping group if you feel more comfy in a group. Test your comfort level while in well-patrolled State and National Parks in a solo shake-down.

One of my security layers is having my truck remote with its panic button on it - it will blow the horn until someone comes to help (I camp in State and Nat'l Parks mostly). 

Sorry for the ramble. It's a good topic.

Verna

Rather than this being in the "General" category, one would be able to find it with like topics in the "Solo...." category. It would be a wonderful addition as I know well how some do not take out solo challenges seriously. 

Verna

This could just be another thread, just change the category to "Solo Travel...." (I forget the entire name of the topic I created months ago ). You really don't need to change this thread's name. It is very descriptive for the comment. 

Homebodyatheart

Ratkity, somewhere in my research I was reading about bear spray, and someone said that it is illegal to carry it in DC. It may be banned in other places, too, I do't know. Wasp and hornet spray is legal and shoots 20' if one is so inclined.

Ratkity

While I know wasp spray has been mentioned periodically, you really don't want it to slowly leak propellent or accidentally go off in your T@B (secure it well if you take it).

I personally like the fire extinguisher/bright light method. Turn on the headlamp (bright light), exit camper with fire extinguisher - Pull pin on the fire extinguisher and empty. Then the empty fire extinguisher can be used to swing at will (watch the wind direction - you don't want pepper spray, wasp, or fire extinguisher contents to blow back at you).

Keep in mind, the only time I'd actually confront anyone suspicious around my campsite is if they are heading for my bike - then all bets are off and I go into Mama Bear mode and lose all control. No one touches mah babeh.



In all seriousness, I take the non-confrontational approach and move. If I don't feel safe and there is a nagging in my sub-conscious is telling me something is amiss - then it is. A person's subconscious puts together things faster than the conscious mind (which is focused on unloading). There is a book out that I would recommend to all who are concerned with personal safety. It's called "The Gift of Fear". A great explanation of intuition and instinct by an ex-profiler for the FBI.

jkjenn

I have felt uncomfortable, twice while on the road. Once, when I pulled into a recreation area CG and saw a drug deal go down - I left. The second was when I was walking, in Aspen, in town. I believe that my friend and I were being followed, so I waited until we were in an area with a lot of people and stopped her and said, loudly, "He's following us." He speedily walked away and that was that. Trust your guts and try to think of the safest and quickest "out", that you can. I keep my keys, handy, as @Ratkity described and have a couple of other back-up safety plans, but I also have my SPOT tracker, which can be used to summon 911, via satellite.  But, let me reiterate, trust your gut. 

Me_and_My_Dog

I felt very creeped out this last weekend when I was camping by myself at a state park. I walk my dog a lot, and I noticed a middle aged guy camping in the unimproved section of the campground (no water, no electrical). He had a small tent pitched deep into the woods, and he would lay in his truck bed in the parking pad reading and lounging. It seems like I kept seeing him driving around the improved part of the campground looking very closely at everything. Thinking back, I need to get better at noticing particulars about suspicious vehicles or people, like the make of the truck, the model, the color. I was followed extensively here in New Orleans one day by a guy in beret in a red truck with a king cab. He followed me with at least 8 turns and only drove on when I drove into the driveway of a random house. When I made a police report, the cop praised me for noticing that someone was following me. He suggested next time that I dial 911 immediately. Actually he gave me his cell phone number to have on speed dial. I need to practice my observation skills so I can identify the color, make, and model of vehicles when needed, and maybe even the license plate number.

RollingLagrima

Along those lines, trying to mentally store and remember whole license plates is not easy especially when you are short on time, under stress and/or unable to snap a photo. If you can at least get the last three numbers or letters correctly along with state, make, model  and color, the chances of recognizing the same plate/vehicle later on will be increased. This will also be more useful to law enforcement if need be, than a botched attempt to get the full plate.  A solid three is always better than a soupy six or seven!

I play a game of intentionally focusing on the last three of all plates as I am out and about. It has become muscle memory at this point, and has come in handy on many occasions over the years.

Ratkity

For extra $$ in college, I did 3rd shift dispatching for the police.

Things your mind can process for quick drive-bys of possible suspicious vehicles:
  
1. Look hard at the driver: skin color, hair color, what type of shirt wearing, baseball cap?, mustache?, beard?, tattoos (arm, face),
2. Type of vehicle (pickup: old? new? color?), was there more than one person in the car?, was there any animal?
3. Did you see a weapon? Was there any type of "spotlight" near the side mirror of the driver.
4. Describe the suspicious behavior - how many times that person has been driving around the park, where you think he's staying. Did he seem to focus on you in particular or was he appearing to scope out potential theft targets? (I say he, but could be she).

This type of information can be obtained by your brain in mere seconds rather than trying to search in the dark or light for a license plate. 

Don't bother with eye color, hair color is hard as well as vehicle color in the dark. Make sure you always have the ranger's or host's 24/7 phone number. Usually easy to get when you check in. 

marknjudy

I'd like to throw in pepper spray as an option iver even wasp spray as a viable non lethal defense strategy. It's cheap, can shoot a great distance and is portable enough to carry with you no matter what you're wearing. I don't know if any states or parks outlaw it but it's much safer and handy that anything else. 

And I'd also concur with trusting your gut. If it feel sketchy it probably is. Leave or report. 

LauraRey

Since I always have my cell phone with me, I tend to simply take photos of cars or people that worry me.  

I still don't boondock by myself, even with the T@B.  I just don't feel safe doing it, which is probably silly.  However, it is what I feel.  

marknjudy

My wife also clued me in on this idea in case you don't want to be obvious that you're taking pictures. Pretend to dial your phone while actually going into video mode on you phone. Then walk by the suspicious person or area with your phone to your ear and hold a fictitious conversation, making sure to move your head around a bit so that the lens captures what you're looking for. It's surprising how accurately you can capture the scene, license plates, etc.

Me_and_My_Dog

LauraRey said:

Since I always have my cell phone with me, I tend to simply take photos of cars or people that worry me.  

I still don't boondock by myself, even with the T@B.  I just don't feel safe doing it, which is probably silly.  However, it is what I feel.  

Great idea!

Me_and_My_Dog

marknjudy said:

My wife also clued me in on this idea in case you don't want to be obvious that you're taking pictures. Pretend to dial your phone while actually going into video mode on you phone. Then walk by the suspicious person or area with your phone to your ear and hold a fictitious conversation, making sure to move your head around a bit so that the lens captures what you're looking for. It's surprising how accurately you can capture the scene, license plates, etc.

Very good! Sometimes I have a fictitious conversation just so it looks like I'm connected to someone else. But turning on the video is even better!

Ratkity

Hey, the video thing is a great idea!

AldebaranJill

marknjudy said:

I'd like to throw in pepper spray as an option iver even wasp spray as a viable non lethal defense strategy. It's cheap, can shoot a great distance and is portable enough to carry with you no matter what you're wearing. I don't know if any states or parks outlaw it but it's much safer and handy that anything else. 

And I'd also concur with trusting your gut. If it feel sketchy it probably is. Leave or report. 

I have pepper "gel" - leaves a wicked stain on the person and doesn't have as much blowback as "spray". At least that's what it says on the label :-)

Trusting your gut works - because if your gut is unhappy, you won't get a good night's sleep.

And getting experience really helps to find tune your sense of where you are comfortable. The more you try out different environments, the better you get at knowing when to stay, and when to move on. On this recent trip, I learned that it's extremely difficult to forecast (even with AllStays reviews) if a particular Walmart will feel "safe" enough for me, so I made sure 1) I arrived with enough time and energy to bail to a different location and 2) that I had at least one guaranteed back up location (for me, a KOA, or Travel Center) within 10 miles of my plan A. Things I hadn't anticipated, like weather for example, factored into my personal sense of safety - so there's nothing like experience to help with this process. But sharing our experiences is a wonderful idea.

When I first joined the forum, I looked in the Solo area for safety ideas specifically for women, but found very little, so I welcome this opportunity to share and learn without the judgment.

AldebaranJill

I have recently joined a FaceBook group dedicated specifically to women who RV solo. Send me a private message if you're interested. Lots of lively discussions and tips.